The Sexualization of Our Culture, Part 1

2015-03-15 by Diana fka Desi Foxx

TIM AND TASHA HAVE BEEN IN YOUTH MINISTRY SINCE 1992, THOUGH THEY LOOK MUCH YOUNGER. THEY BOTH EARNED PHDS – TIM IN ADOLESCENT SPIRITUAL FORMATION AND TASHA IN MARRIAGE AND FAMILY COUNSELING. TIM IS CURRENTLY THE STUDENT PASTOR AT THE VINEYARD CHURCH OF NEW ORLEANS. TASHA IS A WRITER, SPEAKER, WORSHIP LEADER, AND COUNSELOR. THEY HAVE THREE BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTERS AND A DOG NAMED GUMBO.

You may remember a few months ago when two female high school teachers were accused of having group sex with a male high school student. I was concerned because 1) I’m a human, 2) I work with teenagers, and 3) this is the school Elle (my 14-year-old daughter) attends. When the news broke, we spent some time talking with her about things. The most troubling observation was her comment, “Dad, students are calling this kid a ‘legend.’”

I’m not naïve; I know why teenage students view the young man involved as a legend. But observing conversations about this reported incident had adult men saying similar things in online news media outlets:

  • “The young man learned an important lesson here. When you are lucky enough to fall into that situation, keep your mouth shut.”
  • “When are the ladies going to learn that young men could never keep their mouth shut after snagging a teacher. Much less two at the same time.”
  • “In all honesty they were doing him a favor. He is now catapulted to demi-god status.”

These conversations revealed a sad trend in our culture that brought us to a place where accusations like this were trivialized and reduced to locker room one-liners. I’m talking about the sexualization of our culture, where sexuality is viewed as a commodity to be used, leveraged, experienced, and shared with anyone we feel is right at the time. I believe spirituality and sexuality are intricately linked, and the place our culture is going is dangerous and damaging to the students in our lives. If you think I’m making too much of this idea, consider the following:

  • Katy Perry sang, “I Kissed a Girl,” during the Superbowl halftime show (which actually seems benign in today’s culture – further illustrating my point), the most watched television program in the United States.
  • The Sports Illustrated “Swimsuit Edition” is a celebrated rite of passage for boys and an aspiration for girls, published in one of top US magazines by circulation.
  • 50 Shades of Grey is widely embraced in popular culture – even in the Christian community – in the trilogy of books and current blockbuster movie.
  • Primetime programming includes shows like The Bachelor and The Bachelorette that market sexualized young adults to one other in the name of love and commitment. It also includes offers for a night in a “fantasy suite” so the final few contestants can “fully experience” one another. (On a sidenote, in 18 seasons of The Bachelor and 10 seasons of The Bachelorette, three of the “winning” couples are still married.)

My goal here isn’t to add to the numerous voices criticizing culture’s permissive view of sexuality and the danger it poses to adolescents and adults. Honestly, I’m not sure anyone should be surprised about much of anything as our culture is far removed from any sense of a healthy moral standard. Instead, I’d like to challenge the youth ministry nation to think about what alternative views of sexuality – Jesus-centered, kingdom of God-focused alternative views – we are offering for our students to embrace. Too often, well-intentioned followers of Jesus have focused on criticizing what is bad instead of highlighting what is good. And while I agree some things need to be warned against, Jesus seemed to spend considerably more time offering kingdom-centered solutions rather than pointing accusatory fingers at people genuinely struggling in sin.

Students are growing up in a culture that has radically different values than the kingdom of God. I believe youth workers should follow Jesus’ approach – which challenged the thinking of the popular culture at the time – and echo his words, “You’ve heard it said…but I say to you…” I believe Paul understood what Jesus was doing when he wrote in Romans 12, “Let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think” (NLT). How can we hope students choose to live differently unless they are offered a new way to understand their world?

Next week we’ll look at some specific things that may be helpful in framing conversations with students about sexuality.

What do you think?puresex_resourceimage

– Tim and Tasha

Need help teaching students about sexuality from a biblical perspective? There are great resources on this topic from Simply Youth Ministry. Check out Pure Sex and other resources for your youth ministry!

– See more at: http://search.youthministry.com/search?p=Q&w=sexualization+of+our+culture

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